11.12.09

CON.MAR.PU. CHACO 2010

Por el Sr. Camacho

Una postal para girar y mirar de diversos y hermosos ángulos.



Abrimos los oídos. Adivinamos anatomías bajo las sábanas donde naufragan una marea de objetos: alitas de ángel, vasos, ropa, cotillón barato.
Gemidos y gruñidos múltiples estampan holográficamente sucesos acontecibles de alcoba.

Ingresa una mujer de andar suave; en bata de baño peina su pelo húmedo. Revela la escena velada por 90% algodón, 10% acrílico a una pareja en paños menores, atados y amordazados.

La recién bañada, Franchi; los amordazados, la Srta. Gutiérrez y el Sr. Luque.

Nuevamente.
Comienza CON.MAR.PU. 2010, la segunda parte joligudense y sin merchandáising de un Minúsculo que hizo historia (al menos para nosotros: ver aquí la crónica).
El Congreso de Martilleros Públicos este año se desarrolla en Chaco y vemos que los acontecimientos se reiteran. “La partuza continúa”, podríamos escuchar como epígrafe leído por algún locutor televisivo de canal local. “esteno absoluto”, aseguraría público ansioso.

Definitivamente, Franchi es una novata sexual, casi una novicia pero no rebelde y con una causa que aparentemente se sitúa justito en el punto G.
Ella a él, a boca de jarro:
“¿Cuántos orgasmos tuviste en tu vida?”
Él, con una pausa previa, de mundo:
“Muchos”
“¿Cinco?”
Él, con un gestito:
“Y...más…”
“¿Cuántos?... ¿Ocho…?”


Gutiérrez y Luque son dos letrados en cuestiones de la carne, Franchi ha vivido engañada a pura milanesa de soja. Lo más erótico que vivió fue una peli en The Film Zone a la medianoche.

Franchi va a más y pide vida juntos, planea dejar a su marido que se ve que no cumple sus tareas maritales.

“Luque, hemos creado un monstruo” , dice Gutiérrez por lo bajo.

Ante las respuestas evasivas de los otros dos, Franchi llora desconsolada como niña caprichosa, aunque reconozcamos que el capricho es bastante particular.
Franchi vive en Yapeyú.
Luque, muy didáctico propone juntarse “alguuuuna vez” en telo que quede situado en un lugar que les convenga a los tres. Franchi duda y no parece muy convencida.
Los otros, como elemento motivador, piden drogas.
“Yo compro en Yapeyú”, argumenta Franchi que conoce bien el barrio y sabe mirar para arriba y ver zapatillas enganchadas en los cables.

En definitiva, los dos que se quieren picar de una vez, la quieren convencer de que no los venda.
Muchas vueltas y al final dice que los deja ir con la condición de compartir las sábanas (y otras cosas) una vez más.
“Háganme la onda”, es su último y desesperado ruego.
Luque:
“Bueno, dale, uno rapidito”
Gutiérrez, se pone alas, Franchi se le trepa arriba y le dice “volá volá”, todo se trepan encima de todos, alguno grita por una rodilla mal puesta, o bien puesta, hay gemidos, bufidos, risas.
Para Franchi el sexo es como una calesita.
Se meten bajo las sábanas y se retuercen. En un momento Franchi sale de debajo de las sábanas ofendida porque los otros medio que se entienden mejoer y la dejan afuera.

Luqe se queja de que se le durmió el brazo izquierdo. Lo repite varias veces.
Hasta que queda muy quieto. Lo llaman y no reacciona. Franchi mira debajo de las sábanas aún tibias.
“Luque tiene todo muerto”

¡Luque!!!!
Metateatralmente medio que le clavan una rodilla en la cara y Luque se mueve.
“Es el rigor mortis”, salvan aunque no hace falta.
Asustadas lo tapan.
Franchi sugiere:
“¿Si aprovechamos antes de que se enfríe?”

Franchi gimotea: “Qué le digo a Carlitos...”
Gutiérrez se quiere volar, discuten y entre forcejeos ella toma el teléfono, llama a la policía y sanatea de que Luque se siente mal.
Gutiérrez agarra un par de cosas y se va para no volver.
Franchi, le habla un rato a Luque muerto.
Después mira hacia el cielo y le habla a un Luque que flota como en un último orgasmo.


Lo Minúsculo: Las segundas partes de un minúsculo memorable siempre son buenas. Para los que no vieron CON.MAR.PU Santiago del Estero, una fiesta; para los que sí fueron testigos del anterior encuentro de este trío, un remate sublime.

Lo Inesperado: Que los dos actores del principio hayan estado casi una hora bajo las sábanas antes de que comience la función. Se rumorea que tenían un par de empanadas.

Trivia: "¡Qué boluda!", opina un público de Franchi que mira hacia arriba y le habla al cielo, luego de que Luque murió.

Calificación: Dos turnos.

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